mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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