The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
