I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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