the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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