try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
