One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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