so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
