I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
