Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
