he thought i was a dude.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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