i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
