he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I understand Curling. That high.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
