No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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