Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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