I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
