i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
