no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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