Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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