I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
