just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
