it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
