Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
