The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
