two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
