He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
