Welp...herpes.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just sent this text using only my big toe
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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