you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The uberlube is also flammable
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
