At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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