Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
