Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
