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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
