do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
