Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
