You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
