K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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