This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
