haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
