I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
