woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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