i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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