dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
