i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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