hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
