well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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