I can't watch pbs sober anymore
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
