Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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