that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
