I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
