sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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