UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
