But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
