i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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