I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
