remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
