ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
